The Socially Abrasive

The Blog of the One and Only, Latch Beam

Archive for December, 2008

Happy New Year Braylon Edwards

Posted by latchbeam on December 31, 2008

Did you hear that Braylon Edwards was invited to New York City to oversee the ceremonies of New Year’s Eve?  He is this year’s most qualified person to drop the ball at midnight… deyo!  Get it?  Because he dropped so many passes this year?  That’s some funny shit!

Hey Braylon, people in Cleveland don’t dislike you because you went to Michigan… they dislike you because you sucked this year… and on top of that, every time you opened your mouth to the media you said something stupid.  Remember last year when you caught 16 touchdown passes and didn’t act like a jackass?  No one ripped on you for being a worthless piece of shit wolverine then, did they? 

Happy New Year Braylon!  Maybe your New Year’s resolution should be getting your head out of your ass and shutting the F up?

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The Antonio Banderas Commercial!

Posted by latchbeam on December 24, 2008

I saw the Antonio Banderas cologne commercial!  His cologne is called Diavolo.  The commercial is awesome, as expected…  I think I may need to update the definition of the word “Chach” to include him, and possibly his commercial.

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Liberal Rag’s Top 50

Posted by latchbeam on December 24, 2008

Newsweek recently released their list of the top 50 liberals, terrorists and foreign leaders… they refer to it as the Top 50 Most Powerful People in the World.  They omitted the current President of the United States of America, while adding at least 10 democrats to the list.  Not one republican made the top 50, however, included were Steve Jobs at #34 and “Barack’s Friends” at #30 and #31.  What in-depth research they must do!? 

Congratulations goes out to Newsweek for making complete JACKASSES of themselves, yet again!

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What Cologne are you Wearing?

Posted by latchbeam on December 19, 2008

The next time someone asks me that question; I will have one of three answers:

1) Antonio Banderas (yes, he has a cologne named after him… I can’t wait to see the commercials)

2) Flame (by Burger King… the home of the whopper)

3) Sex Panther (by Odion)

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Milk Review

Posted by latchbeam on December 12, 2008

“Gay” -The Socially Abrasive

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How Dumb is Joey Porter?

Posted by latchbeam on December 9, 2008

If you listen to this moron on any given week, he always says something uninteligent.  This week… The Miami Dolphins Linebacker empathises with Plaxico Burress and talks about the need for professional atheletes to carry guns (illegally).  Joey Porter might be one of the biggest idiots on this planet.  This dude is 100% tard!  What are the odds that Special Joey gets shot in the ass again?

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Frank Gore on Injuring His Ankle

Posted by latchbeam on December 7, 2008

Three quotes from San Francisco 49er’s Running Back, Frank Gore on spraining his ankle against the New York Jets:

“I was moving a pile and someone went down behind me…”

“It’s sore and tight.”

“I wish I could have finished because I would have had a wonderful day.”

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Jimmy Patsos of Loyola College

Posted by latchbeam on December 5, 2008

Congratulations Jimmy Patsos!  You are officially the worst basketball coach ever!   

This moron let his team get absolutely destroyed in order to shut down his opponent’s best player.  This is not a joke.  He did not even try to win the game… He had no interest in even being competitive… He just tried to stop one opposing player from scoring, obviously in order to draw attention to himself (incidentally this qualifies him as a certified ‘attention whore’).  Congratulations, he didn’t score, you succeeded!  Succeeded in looking like a selfish Jackass… 

Is there any doubt that Jimmy Patsos should be fired?  He should never be allowed to coach again on any level.  I will attach the entire article below, but just read these two quotes:

#1) “Anybody else ever hold him scoreless?” Patsos said. “I’m a history major. They’re going to remember that we held him scoreless or we lost by 30?”

#2) “I’m not too worried with how people perceive me…”   

You are a basketball coach, not an F-ing history major.  Although you completely contradict yourself, I am glad that you are supposedly not worried about the way people will perceive you… because I am pretty sure that most people would probably say that you suck at life in general right now.  Like Al Franken and Keith Olberman, I believe your parents would be disappointed in you.  Dr. James Naismith’s living relatives are probably looking to beat the F out of you.

Here is the whole story:


DAVIDSON, N.C. – The scene was surreal: Davidson’s Stephen Curry standing off to the corner with two defenders draped over him while his teammates were playing in a virtual 4-on-3 power-play, making one wide-open 3-pointer after another.

The nation’s leading scorer was held without a point for the first time in his stellar career Tuesday night, attempting only three shots. Yet Curry’s teammates scored almost at will in the No. 24 Wildcats’ 78-48 rout of Loyola, Md.

“I’ve never been in a situation where I’ve stood in the corner for 25 seconds every time,” Curry said.

The bizarre strategy by Greyhounds coach Jimmy Patsos left the participants dumbfounded, the crowd stunned, and plenty of questions of why Patsos stuck with the plan even after Davidson scored 18 straight points in the first half.

“I thought their coach was trying to prove a point and I didn’t appreciate it very much,” Davidson coach Bob McKillop said.

But Patsos was making no apologies for using a triangle-and-2 defense — on one player.

“Anybody else ever hold him scoreless?” Patsos said. “I’m a history major. They’re going to remember that we held him scoreless or we lost by 30?”

That willingness to apparently accept defeat to shut down the nation’s most dynamic scorer was met with criticism Wednesday.

“If the coach thinks that that’s what he needed to do to win the game, then I’m all for it,” said Fran Fraschilla, an ESPN analyst and former coach at St. John’s. “But if the object is to try to shut one guy down, knowing that you’re not going to have much of a chance to win, then I think it creates a problem.”

Curry, the darling of last season’s NCAA tournament, came in averaging 35 points a game. The first-team All-American scored 44 points against Oklahoma earlier this month, then followed that up with 30 and 39 points against Winthrop and Florida Atlantic.

“If Oklahoma can’t stop him, how is Loyola College going to stop him?” Patsos said.

So Patsos put two defenders on Curry. At first, the junior was confused, but by the third possession he realized what was happening. Davidson’s coaching staff thought about still trying to run the nation’s best shooter off screens, but Curry waved them off.

“I think in the second huddle he said, ‘Coach, I’ll just stand in the corner and keep two guys with me and we’ll play 4-on-3,'” McKillop said. “And that’s basically what he did.”

Whipping the ball around the perimeter, somebody was always open. Andrew Lovedale scored with ease inside, finishing with 20 points and 10 rebounds. Bryant Barr hit six 3-pointers and scored 18 points.

Davidson turned a 9-4 deficit into a 22-9 lead, all with Curry hanging out in the corner.

“I had all day to shoot,” Barr said.

Patsos didn’t budge with his strategy, even as the lead grew to 34 points.

McKillop, clearly annoyed, kept Curry in the game until the final minute while his reserves continued to hit open 3s.

“I thought when we had reached a point of 15 points, 18 points that he was going to say, ‘OK, there’s no need to continue this. We’re not going to leave Bryant Barr open anymore. We’re not going to leave Will Archambault and Lovedale open anymore,'” McKillop said. “It just seemed puzzling to me why he continued to stay in it.”

Patsos, in his fifth season at Loyola and fresh off signing a contract extension, defended himself in a rambling postgame news conference.

“I’m not too worried with how people perceive me,” said Patsos, a former assistant under Gary Williams at Maryland. “Why, for playing triangle-and-2? They only had 78 (points). The problem is we had 21 turnovers and 48 points.”

It was the second time in a week Patsos was involved in a bizarre story. In a loss to Cornell last week, Patsos allowed his assistants to coach for a stretch and then sat in the stands for a few minutes because he claimed he was being unfairly targeted by a referee after picking up a technical foul.

His unorthodox decision Tuesday also took Loyola’s top scorer out of the game. Brett Harvey was held scoreless as he was one of the players shadowing Curry.

“So in a sense they gave up their offense to try to stymie our offense,” McKillop said. “And it actually opened up the opportunity for our offense to explode.”

For Curry, the game might have even enhanced his image. He refused to force up shots despite his predicament. He joked about having “the best seat in the house” to watch the game.

“It could have been easy for me and my teammates to fall in love with the offensive end with how many open looks we had and not play defense,” Curry said. “It showed how focused we were to play both ends regardless of the coach’s style on the other side.”

The Wildcats (5-1) also showed any potential copycats they’re more than a one-man show.

“It’s interesting how an opposing strategy can make your team even stronger,” McKillop said.

But Patsos wasn’t backing down from a decision that is sure to bring him plenty of grief.

“I figured they’d start missing soon. I’m playing the odds,” Patsos said. “Would I do it again? I don’t know.”

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Snowing and Driving

Posted by latchbeam on December 3, 2008

Just because its lightly snowing outside, doesn’t mean you need to drive 15 in a 35.  What the F? 

While I’m on the topic of driving, any people over the age of 80 should no longer drive.  Did you know that 75% of all people over the age of 80 get into accidents every two years?  I just made that up, but it might be true.  You might say that would be age discrimination; but is it any more discriminatory than denying alcohol to someone who is 18 and can die for our country by serving in our military? 

I’m not sure how I just pulled that one off…

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