The Socially Abrasive

The Blog of the One and Only, Latch Beam

Archive for September, 2009

Hey Lane Kiffin

Posted by latchbeam on September 17, 2009

Hey Lane,

Remember when you bragged about how Tennessee landed wide receiver Nu’Keese Richardson out of Florida’s backyard? I bet Florida didn’t forget. I can’t wait to watch your team get diamantled this Saturday!!!! Prediction: Gators 56 Vols 13… Lane, you are a JACKASS!

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Kanye West Is A Chach

Posted by latchbeam on September 14, 2009

Hey Kanye,
Stop wearing sunglasses all the time, especially indoors. We know you are fuck ugly and your eyes are too close together (and the left one drifts off into space a little), but it makes you look like even more of a Dbag when you wear sunglasses indoors. Also, stop singing through a synthesizer, you sound like Cher only with a more feminine voice.

If I were Taylor Swift’s bodyguard, I would have planted your weak ass off the stage and into the front row. You are a piece of shit! Your parents (and anyone related to you) are certainly disappointed in you, just like all the other chach’s parents out there. Actually, if you have any pets, I would bet that they don’t like you any more either.

Keep on being the prick that you are… I foresee you crying again in the near future, bitch.

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Bury Him Already

Posted by latchbeam on September 10, 2009

I think Michael Jackson is still alive… conspiracy theory…

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Prank on PETA

Posted by latchbeam on September 4, 2009

I had an excellent idea for a prank to play on PETA today.  Here are the details…  First, go to the grocery store.  Purchase the following:

a few dozen tomatos

2 large cans of beats 

some cooked spaghetti

a few cans of lard or shortening

ketchup or thick tomato sauce 

some assorted meat products (hot dogs, kidneys, livers, pigs feet, ham bone, or anything with fat and bone, etc.).  


Next, go to a Home Depot, Lowe’s or whatever local place sells chipper-shredders… buy one.  Also, buy a cheap trash can and some items to make a cheap looking sign.  Maybe go to Wal-Mart for those items, just because I think the PETA brainwashees would hate Wal-Mart for some reason.  Then, drive to a Pet’s Mart or whatever large/chain pet store is around, and set up the chipper-shredder (you may need an extension cord) in a place which would be somewhat visible to customers.  Put a small sign on the trash cans that says something similar to, “Animals That We Can’t Sell” or “Sick Animals”  …you get the idea.

Place the trash can in front of the chipper-shredder, turn it on and throw in your grocery items.  The trash can will basically just get covered by all the shit coming through the chipper-shredder, which will make for a nice visual efect.  Make sure your sign is visible afterward,  get a good parking spot for people watching and Enjoy!

By no means am I suggesting that you attempt this prank.  However, if you do, PLEASE send me pictures and/or any video of it!

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